it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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