My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
