I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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