okay pat passed out under dana's car
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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