My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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