i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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