saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
