I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
