sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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