your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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