This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want a musical about memes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize