Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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