Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
