I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
