I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
