my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
