Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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