I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
