xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
