mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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