you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize