I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
