How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
