Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Who died my cat blue again?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
