I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
