Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
