and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
