our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
