who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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