We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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