So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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