Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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