Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize