im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
