This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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