I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
