It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
