Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think my mom watched the whole time
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
