I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
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We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize