I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
