You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
