You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
