I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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