I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize