Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
