I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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