Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
