Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
