Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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