If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
