He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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