belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
