So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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