I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she woke up with a sticky ear
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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