I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
