you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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