I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
