checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am one with the molecules
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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