If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
