K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
there is glitter all over my balls
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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