She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
